Unfinished

Road

I started praying my Anything prayer before I knew what it was. Earlier this year, I started using the Lord’s Prayer as an outline for my morning prayer: “Your will be done, in my life, as it is in Heaven.”
At the time, I had a job I loved at a church I loved with people I loved, and God was dealing with some issues in my heart. I was surrendering those things to Him, asking Him to clean out my pride, arrogance, entitlement, idolatry, and anything else that was in the way of what He wanted for me. My attitude changed, my relationship with Him changed, and I was happy, possibly for the first time in my entire life.
And then I lost everything. I lost my job. I lost my church. I lost my two closest friends. I lost the ministry I thought He wanted me to do. Everything I was so afraid to lose, I lost.
So now, I’m single, unemployed, without a church, without a ministry, living with my parents, cut off from the people I had spent the most time with. I have nothing. Nothing.
But I know that my story is unfinished. I continue to ask God to do Anything He wants with me, and I wait for some sort of direction, some hope that He has Something for me to do. I feel called to full time ministry, but so far, He hasn’t told me where that is, and what that looks like.
I don’t know what He’s doing. I don’t understand. But I trust Him. I know He has a road for me to walk down. I trust in His love for me, and I know that He is doing something I can’t see yet.
Yes, there are days filled with tears, days filled with anger and frustration. But in His grace, there are also days filled with strong hope and faith. I gave Him what I could give Him, and He took the rest. So now I wait to see what my Anything is…