“For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.” Isaiah 54:5
Lord, this valley is hard.
But, You have been helping me step out of me. Out of my control. Out of the pain and hurt and pressure that I am putting on myself. No one else but me. And being lonely and wanting that loneliness to be filled. But, I know that I don’t want it filled by anyone, but by You.
You have given me everything.
But, I forget that as I tend to want to try and control things. All things. And when I start to take control again, You let me.
Because you don’t try to control me, but want me to freely come to You.
I need to give you the control that I really don’t want.
I have been reading a lot about how to be a godly woman and I can think back to all that I did wrong in this area within my own marriage. My need for control stepping in to a role that was not mine to take. To lead.
So, how do I change that? Change this need for control and lead?
I need to start by allowing YOU to lead me,
as YOU are MY HUSBAND.
I need to trust You to lead me. In everything. That means waiting for You and Your best. As Your best is SO much better than anything I could imagine. And I won’t miss it, even though that is what I fear. You wouldn’t let me miss it if I keep my eyes focused on You.
So, I need to lean in on You. Talk to You.
All the time.
As You are my husband. You can fill that role for me. You have been ready to all along. But, I have not completely allowed you to do that.
So, I am here to step aside and let You lead.
I lean on You.
I trust You.
Let’s spend time together, Lord. Let me get to know You more. Not as my Father, but as my Husband. So, fill this empty space with You. Your rightful place.
I love you, Lord.
My Provider, My Protector, My Lover, My Husband.
As I am Your Beloved.