It is hard to know where to begin and I am not even sure this applies to the post but either way I will share my Anything.
I think it is not really about what I am afraid of losing but what I am afraid will not be won for Christ. My husband was raised in the church and was a “good boy” until he went off to college.
We started dating a few years ago and shortly after I came into a relationship with Christ for the first time and it had appeared that my husband had come back into a relationship with Christ. But as we got closer to the wedding warning signs and concerned friends began to voice their worries about his faith.
I was too young in my faith and he and I were too entangled for me to see clearly. After the wedding, my relationship with Christ exploded exponentially. It quickly became apparent that my husband was not in-love with Christ, probably did not believe and thought Christianity was a bunch of rules and expectations that he could never live up to. This absolutely broke my heart.
Anything. Oh God ANYTHING! For if you are in Christ you know the sweetness He brings to everything: every moment, every breath, every friendship, every day, and every word. Just to think about our heavenly Father brings joy into our lives, that goes beyond any happiness, any worldly fulfillment, or any earthly satisfaction. God, I would give ANYTHING if my husband could taste even one once of the joy and sweetness that I have tasted. Anything, that this precious life would come to know YOU, Father, through your Son; that he would not make it till the end apart from you.
I wish and pray God strip me bare and take everything, that my husband would see the light. I pray that God would use me in ANY way he sees fit to help grow my husband. I am so afraid that he will be lost into the darkness, that his heart has grown hard and cold. I am afraid his soul will not be won for Christ. And I am sometimes afraid to give my husband over to God. What if He doesn’t give him the right scripture, the right song, or the right sermon? What if God wants to save him but his file got lost somewhere?
But I know that there is nothing that I can do to save him, nothing I can do to bring him to Christ. I want to give him entirely up to the Lord. And from here where I stand I will offer him up and I will also offer up my own heart! Lord, ANYTHING!! EVERYTHING!! I will do anything for the glory of Your name and Your Kingdom. Lord, ANYTHING that Your will would be done!