relationships, friendships, love, acceptance

I give and give and pour out my friendship, not in an annoying or extreme way. Just the normal once a week chat or get-together to “show myself friendly.” I’m the listener, the encourager, the one who accepts you for who you are but also doesn’t let you remain in your junk. And if it’s any help, God gave me general attractiveness so it’s not as if I am repulsive in some strange way. So, why am I crushed over and over and over again by Christian people? After reaching out to not just one type of individual but several types after all these years just to try to build a friendship that lasts– and what do I get in return? nothing. Barely a phone call and when, if ever, will anyone visit me? I hear those who are afraid of rejection and if they were to inspect my encounters of failure, they probably would stay in their shell. But I am bold and I go at it again and again. Often with a fresh perspective and renewed faith which helps me not to come off as desperate or needy after spending time with the Lord. But again. I am relentlessly being lashed. Weeping in solitude. Just me with Jesus. Tell me, when will Christian people learn to esteem others more highly than themselves? When will they learn to make an effort beyond a smiling face and kind words to build a friendship that doesn’t lie on the surface or stand only in pews? My daughter said it best, “They welcome you, they just don’t embrace you.” My anything? I have already given up my relationships, my life, my hurts, the anger… Forget bitterness and unforgiveness, I want to be blessed! I give it to the Lord. He sees it all. Who will come now and put their heart on the line for me? Is the Lord telling any of you to be more loving??????? I am your lonely, friendly–but friendless– church-goer whom you reject every day.

  • Jmudad

     I understand this completely !  I’m a loner, that’s been my downfall.  I was a single dad for 20 years, now the children are grown and I’m alone again.  I attend a church where the slogan is : “We believe everyone had the right to be loved and ministered to  unconditionally !”   Great Slogan !  but what your daughter said is right, “They welcome you, they just don’t embrace you”.

  • Skidoo Girl

    I hear what you are saying.  I’m 31 years old and I feel like i’m in Middle School again trying to find my place.  I put myself out there.  I listen, I encourage, I smile…….i’m a people pleaser.  I look around at other women and they seem to attract all the friends.  I’m not asking for 100 friends.  Just a few close friends would be great.

    Lord, you know my wants and desires.  I have to give this to you.  This is my anything………..

  • Elijahm70

    Yeah i agree but it takes two to make friends you also have to put yourself out there i have been attending a church in downtown here in Maryland and all they ask is your name the next minute they dont even rememeber who your name i have been going to that church for a good year and still i have no one who calls me or talks to me when the service is over you feel a stranger in a place of more than a 100 members church is good but the friendship is lacking ……….if you read this Frontline Church Silverspring i hope you change for the better ……… not bitter and am not angry am just disappointed that we christians can be so aloof am a believer imagine if an unbeliever attended the church what would he say about born again christians???

  • Jennifer G

    I haven’t been very good at putting myself “out there.”  We have been attending our “new” church for about 3 years now.  Granted, we don’t attend every service, and sometimes not even every week, but when I attempt to talk to the other women I feel like I am outside of their circles.  They stand in a little circle talking amongst themselves and there is no way to break in, I literally stand outside.  And even on the occasion they do stop long enough to realize that I am there, I feel like I am interrupting them.  I am a SAHM with a small child who is about to start school, with another on the way.  We are all in different places, most of them have kids who are about to, or who have already graduated from High School.  Most of them are “lifers” in this tiny little town where we are still new comers.  I am not a church girl, I wasn’t raised in a specific church, I don’t have that personality and I don’t fit in.  I agree that it feels like middle school all over again.