I give and give and pour out my friendship, not in an annoying or extreme way. Just the normal once a week chat or get-together to “show myself friendly.” I’m the listener, the encourager, the one who accepts you for who you are but also doesn’t let you remain in your junk. And if it’s any help, God gave me general attractiveness so it’s not as if I am repulsive in some strange way. So, why am I crushed over and over and over again by Christian people? After reaching out to not just one type of individual but several types after all these years just to try to build a friendship that lasts– and what do I get in return? nothing. Barely a phone call and when, if ever, will anyone visit me? I hear those who are afraid of rejection and if they were to inspect my encounters of failure, they probably would stay in their shell. But I am bold and I go at it again and again. Often with a fresh perspective and renewed faith which helps me not to come off as desperate or needy after spending time with the Lord. But again. I am relentlessly being lashed. Weeping in solitude. Just me with Jesus. Tell me, when will Christian people learn to esteem others more highly than themselves? When will they learn to make an effort beyond a smiling face and kind words to build a friendship that doesn’t lie on the surface or stand only in pews? My daughter said it best, “They welcome you, they just don’t embrace you.” My anything? I have already given up my relationships, my life, my hurts, the anger… Forget bitterness and unforgiveness, I want to be blessed! I give it to the Lord. He sees it all. Who will come now and put their heart on the line for me? Is the Lord telling any of you to be more loving??????? I am your lonely, friendly–but friendless– church-goer whom you reject every day.