Our Journey of Trust

My journey of “God I will do anything” sounded a little differently, as my prayer was “God, I TRUST you.”

In 2012, my husband and I felt the call to move 2,700 miles from our comfortable home in Dallas, Texas to an island in the Caribbean called Trinidad and Tobago. You see, our life had gotten so busy. With a big house, 2 high stress jobs, and 3 kids, our time was filled with busy-ness. Things that should have been simple like who is taking the kids to school today was complicated. We felt a call from God to simplify our lives. So we decided to take an international job opportunity for my husband. We sold our house and cars, I quit my job and we packed everything into a container to ship to this island. My prayer each day in those hard days of moving and the unknown was God I trust you. Everything around me was shaky and unsure, but He was my constant promise. As a result of our move fear, loneliness and depression threatened to take me over. God, I trust that you have brought us here for our good. God, I trust you are going to keep our family safe. God, I trust that you will provide us friends. God I trust you will provide for our families needs since I am not working. God, I trust you.

After some time there, we settled into daily life. Life was simplified in that we had more family time. I was able to be home with the kids after school and take care of the basic needs that were a struggle in our life in Dallas. Six months is the period of time it took us to become very comfortable with our surroundings and settled. The kids had started a new school year. At this very same time, my husband found himself in a position where a woman thought God was “calling them to be together,” that “they had lived many lives together since the times in the Bible” and that they had “conceived a child together through thought. Yes, you read that correctly through THOUGHT! I was in a real life Lifetime movie. Because of the potential dangers of the situation, we had 24 hours to pack a couple of bags for our family and fly back home while my husband’s company conducted an investigation to determine whether there had been any wrong doing by my husband to incite this behavior. We ended up spending 3 months in Dallas. Through this all, I can point to the many ways that God provided for our every need from a place to live for 3 months to being able to get our kids enrolled in school. Ultimately, the company dismissed the woman, and the findings showed that he had not engaged in any improper behavior. God, I trust that you will keep our family safe. God, I trust that you will bring truth to light. God, I don’t understand why you called us to move and brought us right back to where we started, but I trust your process.

Toward the end of our time in Dallas, we found out we were pregnant with our 4th child. Not exactly planned, as we were just starting to talk about the possibility of having a 4th kid, but we were so excited and so scared all at the same time. What a special thing to have something so great come during a time of such turmoil. Little did we know that having this baby was another opportunity for God to show us how in control He is. We knew from the very beginning that this baby was a gift from God. He was in control with the timing of the conception of this baby. This pregnancy was so different because I felt so good. To say I was a grumpy pregnant lady during my first three pregnancies would be an understatement. Everything was progressing beautifully in all of my checkups. The only thing I kept saying was “I just don’t want to have this baby in Trinidad.” (I find it is the things you say you do not want to do that God asks you over and over to give up and trust Him with.) At the 32-week mark, I went to my doctor for a checkup to get my certificate to fly (that was a Thursday and we were flying back home the following Saturday to have the baby). At my checkup, when my doctor used the Doppler to check the heart rate of the baby, it was dangerously low. Needless to say, I ended up having an emergency C-section in the public hospital in Trinidad, because it had the best NICU facility on the island. I can see very clearly how Gods hand was in each and every detail – from my calmness in the situation to the doctors both here and in Dallas that helped take care of the baby and me. Also, the way our community of people rallied around us in our time of need in a way would not have been possible back home. I remember very clearly the day after I got out of the hospital, my husband and I had planned out the day and were headed to the NICU to see the baby. We ended up with a flat tire on the side of the road. As we waited for help to arrive (we changed the tire, but something else was still wrong), we got a call from the hospital with the news that the baby needed an echocardiogram because something might be wrong with her heart. There was this complete feeling of helplessness. There was absolutely nothing we could do and we could not get to the hospital at that moment. Talk about bringing you to your knees and wholeheartedly trusting in God’s provision. God, I trust that you will take care of our baby because you are bigger than any equipment in a hospital or a doctor.

Currently, we are still living in Trinidad. We have a happy and healthy 1 year old girl along with our other 3 older girls. We are in a state of waiting for the next thing that God is calling us to do. However our hearts have been changed in that we are willing to go anywhere. Our security is no longer in the things that we can control. Our safety and security is not found in what we do but in God’s provision. It is a constant process of surrender and saying “God, I trust you.”