3 years ago I lost my beloved Grandmother. She was everything to me, my light, my rock, my safe haven. I was in college 8 hours away from her when she became sick. I was given one final day with her, but the cancer had taken over so much that she wasn’t even herself. I felt robbed of that time with her. I felt like I didn’t even get to say good bye. My faith was shaken so badly, I was, and still am ANGRY and BITTER. Angry with God for taking her, angry with my family for denying me time with her, and so bitter because I would trade anything in the world to have her back. I am getting married to an amazing man in just a couple very short months, and I am even more angry and bitter that she won’t be there to hold my hand and help me prepare. In all of this I am terrified of losing my memories of her, but I fear that in clinging to the wrong memories I am sabotaging my future. How do you let go of this kind of pain? How do you move forward? Recently I’ve been trying to come back to God, but it all feels empty. I read my bible, and I’ve started a few bible studies, and I pray, and I try to give all my worries to God, knowing he will take care of us, but I am still angry. I’m still angry at God, and I don’t know how to heal that.