Just the Beginning

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My life has had many, “God this is yours, take anything.” I always end up taking it back, or I find something new to hold on to. So I just started the book and watched the intro video. Prayed on my way home desperately God, take it all, take our marriage, anywhere, take #anything. That night we got a positive pregnancy test after months of trying. Though we are doubting thanks to the internet with false positives and chemical pregnancy being the reason that 70% of conception ends in miscarriage. But we sat crying, praying and reading that night that “God, if this isn’t real, would you give us the strength to get through this disappointment, the same joy and the thankfulness that we have right now for when it really happens?”

The next day we drove by a man standing on the corner holding a sign that simply said “Broken child of God.” I made a snark remark about how we are broken children of God, but why is he standing on the corner? But deep down I felt guilty that my husband was eating his personal pizza right in front of this man, and I had my own pizza behind my seat. I contemplated in my head, “now we’ll be late to church and my husband is in charge tonight, then I won’t get dinner, oh look the light turned green.” As I took off, my husband said “turn around.” I did a couple illegal u-turns and handed the gentleman my nice warm, handcrafted, custom pizza. He said “thank you very much and God bless you.” He hobbled back over to his bag, knelt down, put his head in his hands and started crying. If you ever see a grown man cry, you know you have no choice but to to cry with him. My husband and I prayed for him as we drove away and said, “well here it goes. God we give you anything. ” Bring it on.