Is This Really Happening??

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Fourteen years ago, my husband sat me down and calmly said he was leaving me and the family….for another woman. I felt like I had just been hit by a massive 2×4 in the stomach. My head was swirling, I was nauseas, weak and hot. ‘Is this really happening?’ I thought. I knew my marriage was not strong, in fact it was barely breathing in those days, but I NEVER expected this from my husband. We went to church every Sunday, volunteered in the Childrens’ Ministry, taught Sunday School; we had 2 teenage daughters (“what am I going to tell the girls?”). I didn’t cry, I was in shock at first. When I could speak, all I said was, “you have to tell the girls, I can’t do it.”
My phone began ringing when friends and relatives found out. Most of our friends from church didn’t really know what to do or say – I think they were as shocked as I was, and THEIR marriages were intact. No one had first-hand experience to pull from. Everyone was trying to be helpful, in their own ways, but one of the best words of advice I received was from a wonderful Christian counselor: “Terri, this is no surprise to God. I know you are hurt and you want to take some action, but I caution you – don’t try to race the process. Take everything to Him in prayer before you do anything. The decisions you make now will not only affect you, but your girls, and very possibly your future. And remember, he is still their father. Be careful what you say in front of your girls.”
Looking back now on the dissolution of my marriage and results from it, I can now see so many things so clearly. I can honestly thank God now for the ordeal. Sounds crazy, right? God brought me out of a “plastic” pretend, go-through-the-motions type of Christian life into a rich, faith-filled, earnest and honest fellowship with Him. I have a much DEEPER relationship with God BECAUSE OF the divorce. He showed me in the most tangible way He possibly could, that my mind could comprehend, that He was all I needed. My ‘Anything’ was my worldly possessions. Tangible and intangible. My heart was so hardened and prideful, it took the dissolution of my marriage to get my attention. I lost my husband, my house, friends, relatives, my church, even my job over this….but He taught me to lean only on Him and not on my own understanding – and He indeed directed my paths. I learned on that day in July (although I didn’t know it at the time) that I was holding onto worldly things much too tightly. I began for the first time to hold fast to the true foundation. The thing that will not shift, fall, crumble or leave me.
I thank God for coming alongside me during the roughest part of my life and the deep relationship that I have with Him now. What satan meant for evil, God used for good! I can honestly say that I still do not hold material things as tightly as I did 15+ years ago, and I praise Him for that. I know first hand how it can all be taken away in an instant.