Hope

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My anything is my someone. This picture of us represents the innocence and joy of a new beginning. It was a magical December evening spent reuniting as old friends, sharing dancing, laughter and the first snowfall of winter. It continued with an all night talk that brought me to discover the man of my prayers to be right there with me. Sadly, it was also the moment a silent battle began to wage war within me, as a fear of my past slipped in the back door of my thoughts and overwhelmed my tender and growing affection for him. In my pride, I felt fearful of inviting my friend, as godly, patient, and compassionate a man that he is, into my fears for fear of losing him. Before we could take another step of faith towards one another, I sided with my insecurities and called our budding romance off within one moth of it’s beginning. That was two years ago. I have had the blessing of knowing the Lord to heal my past memories with His love, find peace to face my greatest fears, and impart a deep assurance of faith in my life. My joy has been climbing each mountain by the strength of the Lord, and my pain has been climbing them without the nearness and support of my friend. This reality has not been a pleasant one for me to accept and it has been one I have struggled with on a very regular basis., I desire to commit the friendship I have been holding and cherishing, reliving and seeking to revive to be completely into the Lord’s hands. This surrender means accepting the past as past and to allow myself to fully expereince a life of meaning, joy, love, and new beginnings, apart from the hope for a future with the one man with whom I have been hoping to share my future joy, love, faith, and every new beginning.