chains

chains

I long to live in a place that is just beyond me. A place where the Lord works in mighty ways and the only explanation can be Him. A place that is just outside of comfortable, understandable and normal. I want to be different. Not to stick out and gain attention for myself but to see and experience and live in His Presence. I want to take the step that is led by faith and kept stable by trust and led by his Voice and His Word. I have HUGE dreams that go down to my very being and are only God-able dreams. Dreams of Africa, adoption, giving so much and more. I want to live on the edge. I hear him tenderly calling me. Whispering and reminding me of the promises he has made and that he is faithful. Yet,
I am held back by my own self-imposed “chains”. I begin to compare my journey with that of another’s and get bogged down. I become a prisoner to my own thoughts and lies that there is no movement. Like a bird made to fly, I chose to sit in the cage, even when I have been granted freedom. In a twisted way I try and hold on to everything so that I can control it and be prepared but the control turns into chains and a prison and begins to take control of me. All this does it keep me stuck and paralyzed. I long to walk freely in who I am in Him, in what he has called me to and where he is leading me. My anything is all of me for more of Him. My anything is my chains.