In November of last year we were thrilled to find out that we are expecting our fourth baby in 5 years. One week later I fell and broke my ankle, requiring 8 weeks of no weight bearing: meaning no walking. I was completely unable to take care of my three young children – food prep was impossible, dishes, cleaning, picking up the baby – all impossible. Forced sitting for eight weeks. I am not sure I accepted it and surrendered that time to God because I then spent 24 weeks with severe nausea and vomiting in my pregnancy. Our only bathroom was upstairs… My daily problem of vomiting so regularly and not being able to climb the stairs quickly with crutches to get to the toilet to vomit time and time again. This made any progress in beginning to take care of my family again impossible. More forced sitting and sleeping (because of the drugs to help me keep food in). Three days after I got my cast removed and was allowed to start walking again, I was diagnosed with pneumonia from a flu that settled into my lungs. It took three rounds of treatment and ten weeks to recover from. Truly, we have been through the wringer. Nothing life threatening, certainly plenty of grace and goodness to see, but it all turned me into a worrier. What will happen next? Will we be ok? God, why? Help! I have been paralyzed again at the end of this pregnancy by body pain, exhaustion and needing to recover emotionally and spiritually from this year. It has been hard every single day, every moment. But now I am giving it all back to God, surrendering it to Him and this time remaining in my pregnancy (5 weeks) and hopefully forever, will be spent fully present (with the help of grace) and surrendered to what comes each day with my little ones and wonderful husband. Being tender and gentle in these days with each other and ourselves because we need to slow down and surrender to a good God, who takes care of us and is ever so gentle and tender to us. And that matters so much!